Defiance of Fate
by Corroded Faith
Summary: Remember How Mamoru and Rei engaged in a Relationship, That ended as quickly as it began. Ever ponder what really happened, What Rei felt, as the man she adored left her for a close friend. The agony that she must have endured...


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As Black as the Night Can Get  
Everything is Safer Now  
There's Always a Way to Forget  
Once You Learn to Find a Way How  
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She stood before the flames, that cast a silhouette of her slender body against the wall, that contorted with every whim of the fire. The warmth of the chaotic blaze caressed her skin and dried her fresh tears. As she hung her head, long silky strains of ebony hair tumbled before her face. The soft mournful weeping echoed through the alter room. Her heart chained and bond to the barren plain of loneliness, Her heart bleeding with a potent despair, that tainted ever crevasse of her body, She felt an overwhelming sense of betrayal for those flames, as if every flicker, every spark was mocking her. Once the element of fire obtained a heavenly enchantment as they sparkled in her eyes, now the distant crimson reflection in her eyes seemed hellish in its torrid. Why did she not foresee this? Why didn't the flames guide her as they always had before? What did she do that was so horribly wrong? Or had her gift simply vanished? Either way the sight of the inferno, that in a past time was so appeasing to her, now the mere glimpse of them repulsed her.  
  
She averted her eyes from the fire to a metallic bucket filled to brim with transparent liquid within her trembling hands. The girl stared absently down at her reflection, Her eyes were clouded and rimmed red by the constant flow of tears, her skin was tone was paler, lips chapped, the locks of raven hair out of place. What intrigued her the most was that her eyes seemed they belonged to an other, so distant, so hollow. A sole tear rolled down her cheek, and plummeted into the water, creating small waves of ripples, distorting her unfamiliar reflection. She slowly tilted her head upward not able to proceed to look at image known as Rei Hino any longer, without any sense of warning, Rei extended her arms in one fluid motion, tipping the bucket on an angle over the flames, and finally repelling the empty bucket relieved of its cargo to her side, landing with a loud metallic crash and finally rolled to a stop in a half circle. When the water came in contact with the flames it protested with a morbid hissing, But the smoldering pile's defeat was evident when a billow of black smoke arose, looming around her Head. The alter room was eerily dark now, pale moonlight now crept in from the windows, filtered by the blinds, creating misleading shadows that could frighten the innocence of a child. She spun around, the soft blue moonlight splashed upon her face, making the trails of tears down her face glisten. Rei solemnly walked outside the Shinto Temple, into the frigid brisk night air. She took a moment to pause, and lifting her head up to face the abyss of the night sky, and gazed up at the full moon with envy. From the Distance she briefly heard the crows calls, beckoning her. Slowly she closed her eyes, and uttered under breath with a strained voice,   
" What did I do to deserve this...?"  
She begun her descend down the few wooden steps before the Shinto Temple and proceeded to follow the stone path, her steps were solid, but her hands were still suffering from uncontrollable termors, Rei's mind was fruitful with questions, but the one question that lingered and which the mere presence stung was; When Did I become so weak? She finally reached the house almost unaware she had even arrived, ascended the a merger stairs, though she faltered while sliding the traditional Japanese screen door to the side. Tonight, of all nights, Rei had total isolation awaiting at the place she referred to as home. She had no need to worry about awakening her Grandfather for he left for Tokyo days before in preparations for the upcoming festival celebrating the bloom of the cherry trees. She slid off her sandals, placed them neatly adjacent to the door, and instantaneously closed the door behind her. As she entered, she was cautious, making sure she footsteps were soft of the polished wood floor out of an ominous habit. Rei proceeded by a slow walk down the hall, her room was the last on the right, drawing closer to her once sanctuary, shivers ran down her spine. Every last drop of Rei's being didn't want to be here, but just as the flame's demise, she was on a self righteous mission, her corroded determination was the only thing pushing her forth, which was diminishing as she took her first steps into her room.  
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In the Blur of Serenity  
Where Did Everything Get Lost  
The Flowers of Naivete  
Buried in a Layer of Frost  
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She struggled not to glance at it, as she closed the gap between herself and the small wicker night stand nestled next to her bed with the layers of bedding carelessly thrown about. But her eyes disobeyed her will. The soft lunar glow reflected off the glass of the picture frame, The photo seemed as it was taken a life time ago, her smile beaming her innocence, while in the arms of the man she adored, Mamoru was holding her so close, giving a crooked grin for the camera. Just before that picture was taken, Mamoru's hand was stroking Rei's soft long black locks, as it gleamed in the sunlight. At that very moment he leaned close to Rei, and uttered I love you into her ear, making her go weak in the knees as his warm breathe caressed her ear. Then he dominantly wrapped his arms around her, and pressed his lips so gently against hers. In that wretched picture, she was still blushing. That photograph from seemingly so long ago, was actually only taken only month before, and that naive, innocent girl, simply does not exist anymore, Rather a twisted form, that indulges in her resentment for that man, that relishes in her sorrow because of that man. Rei abruptly lunged for the picture frame, disturbing the false serenity that hung over her quarters, clamping down on it so intensely, that her knuckle tone began to go white. She raised her arms over her head, still clutching on to the picture, Screamed with her exhausted voice of defeat, " You Lying Bastard!" Rei lost command over her limbs, and with a strength she was never aware of, hurled the wooden picture frame into the mirror across the room. Freeing shards of glass from their oppressive mold and damning them to a violent collision with the floor, as the glass shattered into multiple jagged pieces they were still able to catch the light from the moon and repel it into Rei's jaded eyes. Rei collapsed to her knees before the mess of scattered glass, her tears resurfaced and flowed untamed down her face, Alone in a world she now despised, Rei succumbed defeat, slumping over, on the icy hard floor, she curled up into the fetal position as a barely audible whimper escaped her lips.  
When Rei finally regained her grasp on consciousness, the digital clock's red glowing numbers read 2:52 am. She made no attempt to move, Rei merely laid there upon the floor amidst her constant rotation of grief, pain, and regret. The occasion cricket chip from outside was the only sound that she heard. Otherwise it was just the interrupted silence of her wiry breathing. Her chest rising and falling to every breath she took, she aimlessly looked around the room, which was now no reflection of herself, the decor did belong to her anymore, it was the faded image of who she once was, that's when she took notice of it, the phone on the ground, the core ripped out of the wall, and the receiver lay about two feet away from her position, exactly where she threw it down, hours before...  


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How Could You Turn Me into This?  
After You JustTaught Me How to Kiss  
I Told You I'd Never Say Goodbye  
Now I'm Slipping on the Tears You Made Me Cry  
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Rei ran eagerly into her room, carelessly tossing her backpack on the bed, it settled between the mess of crinkled sheets. Her eyes immediately focused on the phone, She had to call him, She kept insisting everything was going to be okay, Nothing had altered between them, It was ancient history, It would in no affect her and Mamoru's love. But she was intensely nervous about making the call, she didn't want to be perceived as if she didn't have trust him in, which of course she did, but her mind was at a loss, her hand earnestly reached for the phone, but it began to tremble. Rei quickly pulled it back from the phone, and began to pace around her room in intellectual fashion. She abruptly stopped in mid stride and spun around. Rei stood in the center of the room, intently leering at the photograph that obviously illustrated the love for one another, while nervously running a hand through her hair. The picture was proof of their affection, It was just the reinsurance she needed to build up the courage to make the call. She dashed for the phone, sat on the bed, dialed the familiar seven digits, and placed the phone to her ear. While she was waiting him to answer, she began to twirl her hair around her index finger, Rei counted every ring. Five... She was about to hang up, but then she heard his voice.  
"Hello," a hushed familiar tone answered,  
"Hey Mamoru-san!" Rei mustered, in attempts to conceal her uncertainty. A long drawn out pause followed.  
"...Rei? What do you want...?" Mamoru replied with irritation evident. And in that moment Rei need not to seek her desired answers, it was clear to her now, all her fears invoked and realized to be truths, in five simple words, as her heart began its downward spiral.  
"... What do you mean, what do I want...I called to talk to you..." Half way through the reply her voice cracked and she was barely able to speak. Mamoru sat up from his comfortable spot on his couch, having to reposition the sleeping Usagi, who was curled up in his lap.   
" Rei...don't do this..." He spoke dully, while making sure his words did not awaken Usagi. Tears began to tumble from her eyes, and splash onto Rei's flustered cheeks.   
"Just like That.... It's over between us...." Rei spat.  
"Do I even have to answer that, Rei? You're a smart girl." Mamoru added with malicious intent, which triggered the bitter rage potent in Rei's blood.  
" After Everything?! You Said you Loved Me! You said we'd always be together! What about that Night?!" Rei received no reply, except the constant ominous tone of a dead line. And with a scream of fury, she ripped the phone chord out of the wall, and threw the phone on her bed room floor.  
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Just When Everything Was Making Sense  
You Took Away All My Self-Confidence  
Now all that I've Been Hearing Must be True  
I Guess I'm Not the Only Girl for You  


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The clock read 3:24 now, She hadn't moved, she replayed the conversation, over and over in her head, but the ending never changed. She thought briefly that maybe if she said something different, it wouldn't have turned out like this, but those thoughts were bittersweet, they just emphasized her growing pain. She rolled onto her back, and stared aimlessly at the ceiling with those hollow eyes, The feeling of insignificance swept of her body, none of her friends called since her fate was unmercifully relieved, none of them cared how it threw her off her feet and into a wall. Oh, no, They're were too busy congratulating Usagi... and her new love. She absently wondered if Mamoru would ever go into detail to Usagi, about their relationship. She shifted her head to the direction of the bed, images flooded her head, of Mamoru tearing off her clothes. The way he grinned as he pushed her on the bed, climbed of top of her, stripped her of the innocence as it was nothing. Rei sat up buried her face into her hands crying hysterically, trying to rid herself of her shame that would never have the decency to go away.  
  
Through her fingers, that's when she saw it, her escape from all this torment, pain, and regret, She slowly lowered her hands moisten with tears from her face. Rei's eyes where fixated on it, as she wiped away the new trails of salty liquid off her cheeks. She slowly crawled closer to it the object of her desired in a timid fashion. She sat down before the object, contemplating this new found escape. It didn't take her long to reach her conclusion, she smiled weakly, still sheepishly leering at it, and muttered. "..They have decided my fate.... This isn't my life...." Rei swallowed her fear, thick with uncertainty, as her trembling hand reached for the shard of broken glass. Her fingers lightly traced over its jagged edges, before finally taking hold. She lifted it before her face, staring at her reflection, those same haunting eyes still remained. With that she simply nodded once, and with a sudden force she struck at her left wrist, penetrating the flesh, then dragging it across in her best attempt of strait line as the warm blood rushed to pass the pulsating exposed veins and poured out upon her pale skin. The pain surged relentlessly through her body, radiating immensely from her monstrous wound located on her wrist causing her breathing rate to increase rapidly. A moan of sere pain slipped from her lips. Her realization soon became evident as it was much difficult to slash the remaining untainted wrist as the pain washed over her. Rei emotions were wilting, and her strength drawing to its end with the repetitive gushes of her thick sticky warm blood that poured from her wrist. Blinded by her tears and the surging pain, she attempted to focus on her right wrist, to be sure this was the last night of her life. Rei dug into the flesh of her second wrist with the scarlet tainted glass, tearing more flesh, causing more blood, soft sharp groans escaped her lips as her head became light, and body grew limp, With a final exhausted moan and dull thud, Rei fell backwards into her own pool of luke warm blood.  
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Why Does it Come as a Surprise  
To Think that I Was so Naive  
Maybe Didn't Mean so Much  
But it Meant Everything to Me  


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Yuuichirou stood there in stupor staring at her blankly. This new knowledge of his beloved, deepened his affection for her, wishing somehow he could have been there for her, causing an immense desire to obtain revenge against this Mamoru, he before knew nothing of. The whole time while Rei told her story, her head was lowered and eyes fixated on the horrid scars upon her wrists. Though he was unaware, tears welled in Yuuichirou's eyes. He drew close to Rei, and enraptured her protectively in his arms. " Rei.... "  
" You're the first person I've told....." Rei said with no emotion. Yuuichirou softly kissed Rei on the forehead, and replied with weakening tone.   
"I'm so Sorry, Rei... I should have never asked about your scars...." She exhaled softly, before giving into him, allowing her limbs to welcome his embrace, clasping her arms snugly around his waist and pulling his body close to hers.   
" Don't be sorry..." She drew back slightly so she could gaze into his eyes. He leaned close to her and gently kissed away her single tear.   
"I love you... Rei" But Rei made no reply to him, she was much more careful with her fragile heart, though she considered him to very sincere, She was worried about him loving her out of pity. They both let up on there hold of each other, and stared in silence. Yuuichirou clearly hurt she didn't not return his pledge of his heart, but his hurt soon faded, as Rei abruptly pulled him close and kissed Him upon his lips.  
  
The End  
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I've Done All I Can Do  
Could I Please Come with You  
Sweet Smell of Sunshine  
I Remember Sometimes  


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Lyrics To 'That's What I Get' and 'I'm Looking Foward to Joining You, Finally' © Nine Inch Nails  
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